strange

Here is something strange, now that school is out for christmas break and i'm home. Something just doesn't seem right and i cannot tell what it is. That is the main thing but things here are different. True that i miss the new people that i have met at school but that should not have me feeling like this. Maybe it is just me I hope so at laest.

Tick-Tock

TICK what are these things that are going through my head. TOCK what can I do to make them stop going in circles. TICK this pain in my heart what is the cause, it couldn't be that could it. TOCK thought I was over this why am I still at this place. TICK can this feeling that I have really be true or is that another trick. TOCK please don't let this be a lie. TICK oh lord please let this be real. TOCK i'm going to take this for what it is. TICK guess only time will tell; let it tell me something good. TOCK i'll take for what it is good or ill. TICK can't be that bad can it....really can it? TOCK now i'm scared what does it all mean, can anybody tell me.TICK i'll be strong even if it is only for me. TOCK i'll be strong for them too even if they don't know.TICK,TOCK,TICK,TOCK...........TICK

Fireproofing

This one is for the older group of people or just for those who are in a relationship. I've went to go see a movie tonight called Fireproof. If you are married or have a boyfriend/girlfriend and if yall are haveing problems even if you are not this is a movie that you should go see. This movie has a great messege and theme. Pretty much this movie is about when your relationship is under fire can you stand up and face it. Are you strong enough in your faith and your relationship to be fireproof. If not don't forget about God and that he is looking out for you and loves you like no other even when you reject him again again. Watch this movie and see how your love life and you spirtual life fireproof.

Take it in

For the most part I try to tak e what life throughs at me and take it in. Sometimes that is not so easy, you know .Today feels like a good day I mean the sun is shining its warm out but I can't help feeling cold and overcasted. Now that is messed up, I know what is up with me are at least I have a pretty good idea what is up. It kind of makes me sad to realise thast after all this time now i'm finally lossing control.. I know what i'm that going do and thats what I always do. Take it one day at a time, take in the good with the bad, and enjoy what I can of life and the day as I can.

The Unending Change

I can't help but notice that life is change. Weird I know right but anyway like I was saying life is change and with myself mostily I've been trying to change the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve. Right now I would say that it is somwhere about my elbow and thats night bad for like six months worth of work. I still have a long way to go and thats kind of the hard part knowiing that I still have a lot of work yet do. For each person it's different hell some people don't even have this problem. Everytime I think back on past relationships I come to find that it all boiled down to this one thing. So maybe taking it easy for a bit and just enjoying the process and the growth that comes with a relationship is something to think about not only for myself but for others as well. Maybe even seeing these people again will tell me if I was right to just go all out or if I should just grateful for what I had with them and let them go.

Life lessons "sigh"

One major thing about life that bugs me are all the lessons. Most are learned as you go through them and some people could give you a heads up. I guess if they did that though you prob would not get the whole affect. Personily i'm sick of them why can't they take a snow day or something, life would be dole for a bit but i could live with that. I know it sounds like i'm whining and I prob am. Be that as it may long as i live they will just keep coming so whining wont really make a difference. Heres the funny the funny thing i just had another one right now and it didn't even show up till I finished this.

Over the break

Unlike most students I took a little longer break then some. It was filled mostily by work but I was able to see some friends I haven't seen in a grip. I even went to a club for Boo and Brew
and that was even kind of fun. There was a couple of people I did not get a chance to see but on my next break I will. Everybody at my job was wondering how I was doing and how school was going, that was pretty cool of them. The funny thing is that I spent most of my break dodgeing sick people just like before I left for break but some how when I got back I find myself starting to feel ill. Hope its only the weather change affecting me; wouldn't be the first time.

Home again

Well its fall break and i'm back home again. Being back its seems like not much has changed, but somethings have. Some of my friends are doing new things and most aren't. I want to say that it was a surprise to me, its not, but one can hope. Maybe someday this will change until then though i'll just have to keep on hopeing for them. It is nice to be home though I did miss everybody. All in all I can't wait to get back to school though.

Going home

Yea it's time in going home this weekend. After being in school since august I get to go see my peeps. It will only be for about 6 days but that will have to do. I'll be working to while i'm there but it will be worth it to me. family and friends around agian. let the good times roll.

well everybody have a good and safe fall break

Half and half??

Have you ever wondered is there more to you then you think. Some would say that they are complete and maybe they are right. I like to think that out there is somebody to make each of us whole. Ask a married couple who have been togeather for many years , those are the people who more than likily have a better understanding of the question. I for one think that there just might be somebody out there who can understand me well enough that my faults will not matter. There is the possiblity that I am wrong but if I started to think like that then what would be the point in believing in love in the first place. I guess time will tell in the long run.

Time

One thing I think we can all agree on is that we could use more time. Its one of the things we can do nothing about. Once its gone is not like a hourglass that we reset when the sand runs out. I know I could use more of it sometimes. I am grateful for what i got but if I could sell it I would and be rich.

Dreaming

Here's one for you; lately i've been dreaming again and there is a person who keeps popping up in them. Some would say that this is a good thing but i'm not so sure. See I don't really know what this means and that is what is bugging me. Normally I don't really remember my dreams if and when I do, so you might see why I try to pay attention when I do dream. Nothing really happens in these dreams outside that we are talking about stuff and that is something that bothers me too because I can't even remember what we are talking about. Last time I had a dream like this I ended up meeting two people later in life so you can see why i'm a little concerned. Who knows at some later date I may even figure out what it means but till then guess i'll just have to keep trying.


till next time.....

Timing

Timing is a really a hard thing to control. Mostily because you never know just when you need it. When people think of timing most of it deals with sex I think or cars. It deals so much more though like when you are making something to eat when to take another step. With taking a step I just don't mean the physical but also the emotional and mental ones. Sometimesbefore you can take a mental step you may need to do a couple of emotional steps first; however, that is not always the case. There are more times when you just need a mental shove. Guess that would mean that you were taking longer then expected and people got tired of waiting. That is wrong of them but sometimes its needed.

Well till next time......

Emotion check

So i'm pretty sure by now that most of us has had to do an "emotion" check as I like to call it. What it is should be simple to figure out but lets be on the safe side and say you don't; a "emotion" check is when you know stuff has change and thrown you for a loop mentally. This is the time when you should do a quick emotion check because after something like that you could be blowing in the wind for a long time. Personally I've had to do this a number of times just this past week. I know a lot right well sometimes thats how it goes. Anyway theses had to be done or I was going to be in for one hell of a ride if I didn't get it all under control. I'm still not too sure if I have done a complete check, but then again who could. All I can hope is that what I have done is enough.

Strange Thoughts

Well here we are again. it's been awhile so how you been; hahaha sorry couldn't help myself. any way this time I thought i'd do something on strange thoughts. You know the ones that seem to stop by and say hi, eat and leave. Anywho i find myself with one of them now go figure right. Looking back at the past can do that I guess. so i've come to realise that as time goes by I grow a little more. somethings I have come to seperate better somethings are new. I can't say for sure yet if they are good or not. Givin time I think that the answer will come.

stay tuned....

Week without light ( not me)

So most people are still with out power thanks to the blow off from Ike. I'm one of the lucky ones we still have power here. Its a slow process but everybody is starting to get it back. The imporant thing to take from all of this is that it could have been alot worse if you think about it. A couple of days with out power ain't so bad considering that some people prob got hurt from this or lost their homes.

Overworked

You know something I think i'm going to keep this one short so here goes. Some times you can't help but feel over worked you know. Lately I have been feeling that way can't say why reallyits not like I have lot of work to do just seems that way to me I guess. Well i'm just going to try and find some time to relaxe and see if that doesn't help. Don't forget that if you too are feeling overworked take some time to just take it easy for a bit.

Writing for class

Heres one thing I dont like and thats writing for a class. This doesn"t count because i have the freedom to choose what I want to write about. For other classes were I have to write a paper I have the most trouble cause I don't like have a set topic to do. I know I don't have a choice but I can always whine about it lol. Will they get done more then likily but I still its bothersome you know, even if some of them make you have to think about how you are going to write them. That in and of itsself can be a problem. Be that as it may it'll be ok anyway

scent of a woman

You know I can't really speak for everybody else, but I find the scent of a woman alluring. If i have a woman in my bed when i go to sleep I find myself sleeping better or even if i'm awake and they are close by I feel more relaxed. While doing the "do" I find that it really drives me wild and pushes me to go longer and strongerif you know what I mean. Well I better get off this topic before it becomes x-rated or something.

stay tuned.

Far from home

Hi all this time I think i'm going to talk about missing home. Well more to the point of missing my friends from home really. Here I feel like i'm breaking in a new set and i guess if you think about it I am. There its so much easier they already know how i am so its a lot less work, but here I find myself kind of watching what i say and do, now that sucks. Well thats enough of that till next time peeps.

Moving Mountains

Now first off i would like to say if you are under 17 dont read this. I have a thought on the matter of moving mountains, not literily of course. Since I have been at school I have engaged in somethings that others may not approve of, not that i care if they do or not but be that as it may. It seems to me that everytime i finish this act and before all the work catches up to me I feel like I can move mountains, swim oceans, and the like. I dont know if this is because I'm bipolar and its me being manic or just the rush going through my body. Regaurdless i like the feelings it causes. So to sum it up enjoy it when you do "IT" and who knows you may be able to move mountains yourself.

Weekend fun

So I'm starting to realize that over the weekend everybody pretty much goes home, bummer that it is. All that it really means is that I need to keep my self entertained but that can be a challenge sometimes. I find myself getting bored and just drifting about. Now that sucks because I keep seeming to getting into other things I prob shouldn't be doing, like I'm the only one. Guess I'm just bored so I'm just going to have to deal with it, sigh.

Only you

Heres a weird one for you. In one of my classes we are talking about self, go figure lol. Anyway alot of people prob never really think about it. What makes you well you. Do you take after your mom or dad, a grandparent, maybe an aunt or uncle. I like to think that its really a combo of your past meeting your present, with you coming out somewhere in between. Some say its all in the genes but thats only partily true also. Genes has some to do with it but all. Just some people like dogs while their parents maay hate dogs and tthe same goes for cats and other animals. All and all i think it comes down to what you think you are or should be.

Big Finish

Hello again all, I would like to introduce y'all to a series of books called the Wheel of Time. Its a great series and if you haven't heard of it that's cool you have now. You should really read them, as of right now there are 11 books in the series and the 12th and i guess final book comes out in the fall of 2009. That gives you plenty of time to catch up on whats going on. Personally I've been waiting on this for years so its about time. Its a really good series so give it a read and i hope y'all enjoy.

Man V Nature

.... People who claim that they are honest have just told a lie. Lying is in our nature and you can't fight nature. Our nature differ from person to person, we may find that even though we all live by the same rules of nature as everything else on this planet. Our own nature is what we by, but each person has a different set of rules for our personal nature. Even though nature is always changing but we don't, at least not as fast. For some reason we fight this change even if it is for the better. Now take my nature for example, I'm a survivor, I'll do what i have to so I can keep on going. Be it by stealing, sneaking, lying, cheating and much more, but that is good enough for now, but you get the idea. I amit to my nature and I welcome it. That's prob why I'm wild most of the time......